I recently read a book by Sudha Murty "How I taught my grandmother to read" which is a collection of short stories based on her true experiences. There was a story in it by the name "Freedom is doing what you like". As I was reading through it, I realised that this is what I believe in, this is something I've seen very closely and observed.
The story is about two students who she meets on a train. Both of them are going to join a medical college ; both have been born and brought-up in different conditions and this is what sets them apart.The first one is from a rich and affluent family but has been spoon-fed all his life and the other boy hails from a village, grew up in a free atmosphere, 'as a tree in a forest' in his own words. I could somehow relate myself to the first guy, not entirely though. I too sometimes feel that I was brough-up in an overprotective environment. My parents are no doubt very caring and loving towards me, but as Sudha mentions in her story, too much of it can become like a golden noose in the neck.
It's not like I was not allowed to make my own decisions regarding my career or my future, it's just about those small things you do daily....a li'll bit of mischief, some innocent adventure, some falling and then rising again. Why are we tied down? Why are we asked to follow a well-crafted path and not let alone to find our own way? Discipline doesn't necessarily have to be suffocating. It can be instilled more successfully by making the child more responsible for himself and his ways. Agreed, that they don't want their child to go through the same 'bad' experiences that they underwent and learn from their mistakes. But isn't it worth noticing that those 'bad' experiences too played a part in making them what they are?
Afterall, it is those early days which have a major impact on what a man becomes later in his life. And this is not done yet....after a period, parents let go, they have to! And this is when realisation dawns upon them that their child is not exactly as they wanted him to be. Its like when an animal born n brought-up in captivity is one day let to fend for himself in the wild. He's new to this world....has seen it....but from a safe distance....has lived in it, but within a shell of his own. This is what over-protection does. It steals away the chance to earn those golden hands-on experiences, that confidence that you get by living your life on your own terms.
I feel I could have been more confident, more mature and wiser if I was left on my own most of the times, early in my life instead of being given 'direct commands' for doing anything and everything. Learning through personal experiences cannot be substituted by anything else. Still, the situation wasn't as bad for me as with many other children i see now. In this current age of fierce competition in studies and jobs, parents seem too eager to control every aspect of a child's life. But, they must understand that mere providing of facilities and then dishing out their wishes won't suffice for the true development of child. Like, if you provide a plant with the right kind of manures, nourish it, keep it safe from weeds n pests and water regularly BUT fail to provide it with enough space to grow and spread, the plant would have narrow growth prospects, same is the case with a child, you'll only limit his spectrum, make him uni-dimensional.......not the all-rounder or the confident ready-for-anything man that you always wanted him to be. So, it is better to let the birdie try when wings develop enough to fly....let him fall, for he will rise and soon he'll be ready take on the sky!
